Encouragement

Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. – Hebrews 10:19-25

Have you been discouraged by someone you have respected and encouraged? Did you find this disheartening and possibly weakened your desire to continue to encourage others?

Words can either build up or pull down. We need to persevere in encouraging others in their faith— until He comes. This is a basic instruction from His Word. It’s not an option nor is it a ‘when we feel like it’ requirement.

There are times I have to stop and reflect on the needs and situations of others and sometimes I don’t feel like encouraging. For instance, when someone has left me less than encouraged. But in reality, it’s my responsibility to encourage others – no matter how I feel or what others may have done to me.

Don’t allow discouraging words to weaken your faith or neglect the gifts God has given you. Don’t allow disappointments to prevent you from encouraging others.

Galatians 6:9 says “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up!”

Father, help me to keep my eyes on you. Strengthen me in times when I’m discouraged by others so that I may persevere in doing what is right. Help me to hold fast the profession of my faith in you without wavering. Amen.

© Chrissy Siggee – First published in 2019

Scripture Verses used are from the New International Version of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Where Did I Leave My Humour?

Do you know where I left my humour? It must be around here somewhere. I had it yesterday. I’m sure I did. How could I have lost my humour?

It’s always been a part of me. I’ve never gone anywhere without it. I have used it every day. Humour is one of those possessions I thought I would always have. How could I have lost it?

I could have left it in the fridge like I misplaced my cup of coffee yesterday. Perhaps it’s in the laundry cupboard or in the ironing basket. Surely, I wouldn’t have left it lying around for the dog to chew. Perhaps I left it under the bed. I haven’t looked there for days. Where could my humour be?

Probably it’s gone forever, like the coins that slipped through the hole in my purse. Maybe it’s gone down the kitchen sink, just like my favourite ring. I don’t know why I’d put it down—not even for a moment. Maybe it’s in the garden. I could have left it there when I found that poor dead bird. Or, did I leave it someplace else?

Perhaps I left my humour in my journal. I’d been trying to hide my pain and cope alone. I didn’t want to burden anyone with my misery, so I poured it out to God. It might be in my Bible, somewhere in the Psalms, possibly in chapter 23—between the shadows of death and fearing no evil. But, why would I have left it there?

I checked my emails before I went to bed hoping I would find my humour there.

A stranger said I’d made them laugh with a story I had written.

Wendy said she was missing me and I had always made her day.

A cute little puppy greeted me. He was on an eCard sent by Val. It made me grin but it was the words that got to me: shoulders to lean on and hands to hold, hugs to comfort too.

Do you think my humour is closer than I think?

Wait one minute! It must be around here somewhere. Last night that movie made me laugh and I saw the funny side when hubby dropped his cookie into his cup of tea. My son gave me a picture book of elephants at the beach. It’s amazing how some silly photos encourage you to smile. How could I have missed it?

Suddenly I realized I hadn’t lost it. I had it all along. I guess it’s like a simple smile—I just had to put it on.

© Chrissy Siggee

– a long time ago.

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Author and Designer

Oh, the beauty of the valley,
Swept with the new day’s mist—
Timeless splendour through rolling hills
Capture the essence of creation.

Mountains rise above the plains,
Casting shadows like a caressing hug—
Calmness enfolds the perilous terrain
Mirror the heart of their designer.

Distant thunder announces the rain,
Freshness rises to the clouds—
Soundless rhythm of the breeze
Captivate the plan of each formation.

I can almost hear the angels sing,
Hundreds praise the name of the Lord—
An endless chorus fills the air
Praise to God, the founding author.

© Chrissy Siggee

 

Under Copyright: https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/4537869

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Promises in the Rainbow

Rainbow colours, glorious,
melt into scenic views –
Radiant through softened glow,
creating all things new.

Freshness lingers past the rain,
embracing nature’s charm –
God’s vibrant promises still proclaimed
with tender hues of calm.

Sunbeams gently stroke my face,
and Heaven’s warmth abides –
My spirit yearns for His embrace
and peace His touch provides.

He gently soothes a hurting heart,
and wipes away each tear –
With healing words, my grief departs
and sorrows disappear.

Assurance fills my life again –
beyond the clouds I see
Dreams and visions to explore
with a joyful heart that’s free.

Humbly now I worship my King,
fresh tears of joy I own.
With new words I begin to sing,
giving Him my life to hone.

© Chrissy Siggee
From my book Glimpses of His Glory    ALL RIGHTS RESERVED under copyright: https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/4537869

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Whisper in the Night

The night is dark. There is no moon. A distant nightbird sings its song. Gentle breaths of wind quiver leaves against a window. Fighting cats hiss and spit, assaulting the quietness, and then… abruptly ceases. Barking from some neighbour’s dog echoes away the intruding felines.

Silence returns momentarily before the faint sound of a baby’s cry lingers for just a little while. The dim of the night remains undisturbed.

I close my eyes in expectation for sleep to come. Only silence.

A suppressed whisper infiltrates the peace of the surrounding blackness. My eyes spring open. Alertness returns. ‘What was that’? Again, there is silence. Tied eyes begin to close but it transpires again. ‘That murmur, where’s it coming from?’

This time I lay awake picturing the room around me. Faint outlines of a chair appear as my eyes adjust to the gloom. The whisper returns.

My voice is barely audible. ‘Who’s there?’

I feel strange but I’m not afraid. It’s soothing and not at all alarming. Though faint as it is, I sense an inner stirring. I slide from my bed and feel my way to the window. As I part the curtains I gaze out to the unnatural darkness. Not even a pale glow of a street light can be seen. The world is completely dark and silent. ‘What is this?”

Again, the whisper comes, this time from within my soul.  ‘Pray for those who do not know me for darkness will fall upon those who do not heed my call. The day will soon be here and time is running out. I need my children to plead for the lost so they will find the light. Don’t wait my child because lives are being lost to darkness every single moment. I have made you for a purpose. Through prayer, you will know my will. I have given you a gift that can only be used to reveal my glory.’

The whisper fades to a hush and the world outside comes faintly into focus. I look up to the heavens where stars begin to shimmer. The sounds of the night returned to my ears. Leaves rustle with the wind re-stirring. I turn and fall on my knees and weep for a world of lost sinners to see His light.

© Chrissy Siggee

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Absorbed in Wonder

Raindrops trickle from velvet soft roses by the gate—
Ladybugs struggle to keep a grip on moistened leaves—
Butterflies flutter their feather-light wings
And mottled stalks assent to the rising breeze.

Beyond the path that leads to the meadow,
Sparrows take flight from their nesting trees—
Creating rain-soaked leaves to glisten like shattered mirrors
And sun rays capture the essence of the after rain.

Honeysuckle saturates the air with its perfume
Mingling with the simple freshness of dampened earth,
That fills the air with splendour and His goodness
And penetrates the senses with pure simplicity.

Robins sing their chorus to the retreating storm—
Fleeting clouds drift across the distant sky,
While trailing shadows chase the thinning haze
And disappear into carefree sunbeams along the rise.

Unfurling colours spread as ribbons above the trees—
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet
Etching an archway across the clearing heavens
And embracing the distant hills with the perfect kiss.

I close my eyes to soak up the enchanting beauty—
Tranquil moments fill my thirsty soul,
His blessed peace flows through my inner being
And imprints the perfect scene within my mind.

© Chrissy Siggee
From my book  Glimpses of His Glory 🦋 Under Copyright: https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/4537869

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Whispers of the Dawn

Whispers of the Dawn

Gentle raindrops drizzle down,
Splashing into ponds and streams.
Morning freshness all around
Spirit, wake from earthly dreams.

Robins greet the tranquil dawn
Sun-kissed roses drip with dew
Crickets sing and daisies yawn
Light reveals this daily view.

Morning comes with restful calm
Gentle whispers of the dawn
Touch me with His healing balm,
Former days and troubles – gone.

Stillness comes from deep within,
Peace and wonder fill this hour;
Praise and glory to begin,
Lord, fill me with your power.

Breathe new life into my soul
Fill my needs with your embrace.
Every day you make me whole,
In the knowledge of your grace.

Peaceful moments with my Lord,
Calmness flows within my veins,
Nature sings in sweet accord,
While His presence still remains.

Sunrays change to pastel hues,
Breathing in your gentle peace
Stillness of the dawn infuse,
Your great power to release.

Solace comes in daily prayer
Quiet dawn, my favourite hour
Wonders of His love declare
Daily blessings to empower.

© Chrissy Siggee

From my book:   Glimpses of His Glory

Under Copyright: https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/4537869

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Mercy

Mercy can be a difficult topic to tackle; yet I find it’s one of the most desirable gifts Christians seek. To show mercy is an awesome experience but to receive mercy is not always easy. Sometimes people misunderstand those who show mercy. Those who show mercy often don’t even realise that’s what they are demonstrating.

To show mercy is to show forgiveness, compassion, kindness, pity, understanding… even leniency. When explained this way, I can see how people have shown mercy toward me and how I have shown mercy to others. I also understand how we can misinterpret another’s acts of mercy. Have we become unaccepting of another’s gifts? Do we feel complacent with our circumstances or those of others?

Jesus showed mercy/ compassion and He has instructed us to show mercy. Shouldn’t we also accept mercy from those He has instructed to show mercy?

Exodus 33:19 says: “And he said, I will make all my goodness pass before thee, and I will proclaim the name of the LORD before thee; and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will shew mercy on whom I will shew mercy.”

Isaiah 30:18 says: “And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the LORD is a God of judgment: blessed are all they that wait for him.”

Where and when was mercy shown to you in the past month?

When was the last time you showed mercy to another?

Father, help us to show mercy to others no matter the situation. Teach us to be compassionate and live our lives as you would. Also, help us to remember that when others show mercy to us so we do not reject them, because the mercy they show is the mercy you would have them give as you would have us to give. Amen

 
© Chrissy Siggee 2012

Scripture Verses used are from the King James Version of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

A Splendour to Behold

Below the frozen ground he waits,
In restless sleep he lies,
Protected from the wind and rain
That flow from steely skies.

Cold winter snows begin to melt
Revealing nature’s best—
Unknown strength begins to rise
Boldness to pass the test.

Day by day he stretches forth
With courage new life brings—
Timeless changes make him soar
On flights of eagle’s wings.

Freshness comes with gentle rains,
Relieves the summer’s heat;
Power bleeds through woody veins—
A vigor to explore.

Daringly he salutes a cloudless sky,
Graceful and upright, bold.
Visions to capture for his own—
A splendour to behold.

Autumn leaves fall all around
Like graceful butterflies;
Limbs grow stronger every year
And reaches to the skies.

He stretches out to fill the air,
Stands bold beside his peers;
With his solid strength and power,
He’ll stand for many years.

Seasons come and seasons go,
Grand valour takes its place,
No longer swayed by winds of time—
Grown to majestic grace.

Daring to pass the test of time,
He gazes down to see
God’s design of might and courage—
Boldness in a cedar tree.

© Chrissy Siggee

From my book  Glimpses of His Glory

Under Copyright: https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/4537869

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Faith

Hebrews 11:1 tells us: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (NIV)

Ephesians 3:16-19 says: “That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.” (KJV)

Without faith, I’m nothing.  Faith is a part of me, the hope of my salvation, and all that I live for and all that I do. Life is not an easy road and it’s not a perfect one.

Life can be the pits – Life can be lonely – Life can be full of pain.

But, life without faith is no life at all.

When news spread that Jesus had risen from the grave, Thomas wanted to see Jesus before he would believe it. Faith believes in something before it’s seen. Not the other way around.

2 Corinthians 5:7 clearly says: For we walk by faith, not by sight.

We all need Faith even just a little.

Matthew 17:20 – “And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, if ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove, and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” (KJV)

When I was confined to bed in 2018, I struggled with a lot of things, but faith in the Father, I never doubted. Days of pain drove me to tears and misery. Sometimes I couldn’t even pray for myself. I didn’t have to. I knew that the Great Physician would bring me through.

Simple? No. It was probably the worst year of my entire life.

My favourite Bible verses during those bleakest days and sleepless nights were from:

Matthew 9:21-22 – For she said within herself, if I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole. But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.

Living by faith is a way of life – Life is living by faith – Faith is believing

Father, we sometimes feel in times of pain and loneliness that our faith is weak. Teach us, help us, to keep believing even when we don’t see answers. Show us how to walk by faith and not by sight. Amen.

© Chrissy Siggee First published in 2012 Revised in 2019
Scripture Verses used are from the New International Version of the Bible

Archived in 🦋 Christian Reads

Comfort

Psalm 46:1-3 – God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof.

These are without a doubt, some of the most comforting words from Scripture I know by heart. Through all situations, I have only to rest on God for my strength.

With my husband’s employment, we moved frequently. When our children were little, I dreaded those times. We often spent weeks in temporary accommodation and waiting for our personal belongings to arrive. During those transition times, it was characteristic of the Department of Defence to send him away on a course.

During one of these relocations, which was a few hundred miles from our nearest extended family, our son became constantly ill with serious allergies. Three weeks into the hotel stay I had to ask the cleaning staff not to use chemicals in our rooms unless I could plan time to be out of the room and have it aired before we returned.  Our son was just over eighteen months old at the time and his sister was three and a half. Their ages alone meant around-the-clock care, but the youngest slept very little. He had about two hours after his midday meal which gave me some grace and much-needed rest. His sister was usually dozing too or looking through a favourite picture book.

New states, new towns, and new experiences were always daunting, and settling into a new normal day-to-day life in these situations proved to be often stressful and lonely. But I remember these verses from Psalm 46 as my source of comfort. I don’t believe it was a coincidence that these verses appeared so often during my daily devotions. They became my key verses and since that particular relocation, they have become part of me through many other situations over the years.

We all need words of comfort at one time or another and we can be assured that God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Thank you, Lord, for your comfort in every situation. Help us to know that you are our refuge and strength and guide us through difficult times, fear, and loneliness. Whatever we face in our day-to-day lives, teach us to lean on you for all our needs. Amen

 
© Chrissy Siggee 2012

Scripture Verses used are from the New King James Version of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

My Eternal Home

To seek His face and sing to Him—
Oh! What joy to me it will bring.
Even when my eyes are dim,
I will always be there, with my King.

To sit at His feet or dance for Him—
Oh! What music, oh what hymns;
Angels all around the throne will sing
With joyful sounds, on might wings.

To tend His garden and meet with Him—
Oh! What happiness this will bring;
Just to know I’ll walk with Him
Forever, my eternal home to win.

© Chrissy Siggee

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

From my book: Glimpses of His Glory

under copyright: https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/4537869

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Courage

Psalm 27:14 says: “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”

Philippians 4:12 – “I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things, I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.”

There have been times in my life when I felt overwhelmed by the busyness of life itself. Sometimes my health issues cause physical pain and tiredness. Being aware of the pain family and dear friends are going through, can also overwhelm.

Going through tough times needs courage. Though I don’t always feel I have enough, God is always there to see me through. His Word is true and I can do everything through him who gives me strength. I always know that… “He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.” – Isaiah 40:29

Father, I am weak but you are strong. Through the struggles of day-to-day busyness, pain, and weariness, I look to you for the courage to go on. Help me to do what I need to do in your strength. Amen

© Chrissy Siggee 2018

Scripture Verses used are from the New International Version of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Daddy’s Prayer

Sweet golden locks frame her face
where tears flow onto frills and lace—
Fingers clutch a teddy bear
and baby blues reflect despair.
It makes her daddy’s heart break…
My sweet girl, why are you still awake?

Dark shadows dance throughout the night
a trembling voice reveals her fright.
Nightly dreams become a nightmare;
too much for this child to bear.
Invading ogres make her tearful—
Pretty one, please don’t be fearful.

Darkened hours can be quite scary
and sounds of the night make one wary.
Try not to cry my little one,
to be fearful is not fun—
Loneliness makes the hours long.
Prayers to Jesus will make you strong.

Gentle Jesus meek and mild,
please watch over this precious child—
Place loving arms around her Lord.
Our hearts beat with one accord,
give peace, and music to her ears…
Jesus, take away her fears.

Calmness enters, God’s love displayed;
rest in Jesus, all fear will fade.
His love brings peace to your soul—
Know our Father’s in control,
all fear is gone, sleep to restore…
My little princess weeps no more.

© Chrissy Siggee

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Behold!

Did you know that the words “Lamb of God” as a title of our Lord, occur twice in the Gospel of John and once in 1 Peter?

However, John uses the same title in Revelation about 30 times. It’s clear that The Lamb of God would have meant a great deal to John who leaned on Jesus and knew the secret of His Redeeming love… perhaps better than any of the twelve disciples.

In John 1:28-30, we see the Apostle John’s first use of the phrase when he quotes John the Baptist in the lead-up to the baptism of Jesus. “These things were done in Bethabara beyond Jordan, where John was baptizing. The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world. This is he of whom I said after me cometh a man which is preferred before me: for he was before me.”

Peter doesn’t use this title directly, but in speaking of our redemption from sin in 1 Peter 19:18 he says “Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot, even the blood of Christ…”

With all the names of Christ used throughout the Bible, The Lamb of God would without a doubt, touch me the most deeply. None speak more strongly of our deliverance from the slavery of sin. I can only capture a glimpse of how John felt about our Saviour.

Is it redemption that we desire? Then it must be redemption by the blood.

The cross of Christ is the only hope of the world. A world that often declares things like “behold our new methods”, “behold our human brotherhood” or even, “behold this new opportunity” and forgets the only real cry that needs to be boasted— “Behold the Lamb of God.”

John 3:16 says:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

© Chrissy Siggee

Scripture Verses used are from the King James Version of the Bible

Archived in:    🦋 Christian Reads

Strength

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. – Ephesians 6:10 (NIV)

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. – Ephesians 6:10 (KJV)

One verse, two translations. I like them both and couldn’t decide which to use, so I’ll use both. It’s a powerful way to bring the book of Ephesians to close. It’s also a letter addressed to a church. If you ever get the chance to read the six chapters, it’s worth the read.

If you remember anything from reading Ephesians this is the ‘above all else’ verse. The Lord, the one above all else, the creator of our world who gently placed every star in place, delights in you. He delights in me. He is strong and mighty but also gentle and faithful. Always.

Don’t think for a moment longer that He doesn’t care about you, because He truly does. Take a moment to take that in… Read more of the Bible and seek out the strength of this truth. Find a Christian author who has written of their experiences in this truth and listen to the words of Christian music that express this truth. In His presence, you will find strength.

Father, thank You for the strength You pour out to us through Your Word, through the inspiration of others, and through Your Truth in music that is so freely available to us. Help us to be strong in Your power and might. Amen

Chrissy Siggee

Scripture Verses used are from the New International and the King James Versions of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Love

John 15:8-10
Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so, shall ye be my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.

The Word of God breathes the spirit of love. God is love. There are over 450 references to love in the Bible. Our Christian faith is based on love: a love that sacrificed His life so we could live.

In 1 John 3:23 we read that there is a new commandment from God, that we should believe in his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another.

It’s not always easy to love and sometimes it’s easier not to love. Or is it? Often the consequences of not loving others as we should can be destructive to ourselves and those we do love.

How often do we choose not to love someone because of their behavior, lifestyle or simply being afraid to love them? I have a couple of friends who fear being hurt. They have chosen not to love, and in doing so have cut themselves off from so many who love them. They believe they are happy and don’t need love from others. I find their choice to be a very sad and lonely one.

If God is love and we are to live in love, we need to rethink His commandments.

If there’s someone in your life you are struggling to show love to, ask God to reveal how you can. Seek His wisdom in dealing with those who hurt you or agitate you and show them His love today.

Be encouraged… 1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

Father, in your great mercy, help me to show your love to those whom I find hard to love. Help me forgive those who have not shown love and grace to me so they may see Jesus in my life. Amen.

© Chrissy Siggee

Archived now in: 🦋 Christian Reads | Riverside Peace

Evening Prayer

Crickets chant and shadows dance…
Moonbeams peek through distant trees,
Where birds sing in hypnotic trance
That seems to echo beyond the seas.

Clouds drift by, and stars shine…
Leaves rustle with the evening breeze,
Bringing peaceful charm to God’s design,
And tames the night owl with new ease.

Creation sleeps and nature rests…
Summer’s fragrance fills the air,
In His presence, I am blessed
To end the day with evening prayer.

© Chrissy Siggee

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

I Have A Passion For My Lord

My heart reaches out
with a passion for your peace.
Your love flows through me
like a river going home.
I stand in awe
at your loveliness.
I lift my hands
to praise your name.

…and I have a passion for my Lord.
I want to serve him more
in everything I do as…


My soul reaches out
with a passion for your love.
Your arms surrounds me
as a mother holds her child.
I kneel here now
in your presence Lord.
I lift my eyes
to see your face.

…and I have a passion for my Lord.
I want to serve him more
in everything I do as…


My mind reaches out
with a passion for your Word.
Your presence overwhelms
as I sit here at your feet.
I lift my heart
in obedience.
I bow my head
to worship you.

…and I have passion for my Lord.
I want to serve him more
in everything I do.


© Chrissy Siggee – 2006
Archived now in: 🦋 Christian Reads | Riverside Peace

It’s A Heart On Fire

My heart is overwhelmed
with a desire I will try to describe.
Within me now, there’s a higher realm;
a realm of glory that will abide.

It’s like a volcano
that trembles beneath.


It’s roaring up
about to erupt.


It’s a mighty glow
like lava it flows.


It’s a heart on fire;
my great desire.


My heart is overflowing
with a joy I cannot really explain.
Within me now, there’s a joyful praising;
a praising of my Saviours name.


© Chrissy Siggee

Archived now in: 🦋 Christian Reads | Riverside Peace

Contented

Hebrews 13: 5 says: Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

My grandmother used to have some funny sayings that left me wondering. One of these sayings was: I’m as contented as an old cow put out to pasture. It was like she was trying to teach us something but I was too young to understand.

We all understand contentment in our own way just as we are all different in our own likes and dislikes. Contentment is a satisfaction or an accomplishment in something we have achieved, or in life itself. I would be surprised if my grandmother hadn’t found satisfaction in her senior years.

I’ve met people who are never contented. They always want the ‘greener pastures’ just beyond the fence. And, although striving for a better job, a better lifestyle or a better future can be a good thing, we need to be careful about how we achieve our goals.

Do we allow the temptations of cutting corners, taking advantage of others or neglecting our priorities in our attempt for a better life? Do we compromise our Christian beliefs or family’s needs? We need to take a good look at our actions and the motives behind our actions to get to where we want to be. Sometimes we need to take a step back and be contented.  If we allow God to use what we have He will take us forward into the desires of our hearts, if it’s in His plan.

1 Timothy 6:6 “But godliness with contentment is great gain”

© Chrissy Siggee 2018

Scripture Verses used are from the King James Version of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Decisions

James 1:5: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Hebrews 4:12: For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

We all have times in our lives when we need to make decisions. You know the type: those decisions that require wisdom. This kind of wisdom can only be found in Christ; wisdom we need to seek through His Word. However, Scripture is not a catalogue of “do’s and do nots” of all matters of life, but it is critical to rely on prayer.

If you have read any of my other devotions you would know how vital prayer is in my life. Prayer, and the seeking direction through the word of God, will give us the result of wise decisions.

Scripture consists largely of general and specific principles in particular contexts to which they apply. Because of this, decisions cannot be made without taking them to the Lord in prayer. We need to express our needs, our desires, and our hopes. Give Him the glory for all he has done for us and what He will continue to do. He knows our needs before we ask, but we need to ask first, wait, and listen.

Simple? No. I know many times that by simply asking, waiting, and listening, doesn’t always disclose His direction immediately. However, His direction on how to seek wisdom, and why, is clear:

Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. John 16:13

May God lead you into His wisdom and show you direction for those decisions you need to make.

© Chrissy Siggee

Scripture Verses used are from the King James Version of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Growing Closer to God

James 4:8: Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (NIV)

My desire to grow closer to my God is overwhelming. There’s a need for Him to replenish my dwindling strength to fill my heart. I acknowledge my Lord’s perfection and my own sinful weakness. Gifts and talents mean nothing if He’s not the centre of my life, and I always keep seeing the art of losing myself in His presence.

I’m conscious of God’s love and His presence refreshes my soul. His majestic glory floods my constantly craving heart and my spirit rises to new heights of joyfulness and victory. Even in the face of unanswered prayer, I am full of gratitude because His divine presence is sufficient for me.

I genuinely desire more time with Him. In His presence, and by prayer and supplication, I will make my requests known to God. He is infinite in holiness and power; I am sinful and weak. I will pray with assurance knowing the Father does all things well.

Jesus, I ask that You cause me to desire to draw near to You above everything else. Help me to see clearly when I can set aside time to spend with You and help me never to compromise that time. Amen

Chrissy Siggee

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Taste and See

O taste and see all things He has done—
there’s naught but good in our LORD,
His gentleness touches every life
and took our place on the cross for us.

He takes the shame when we yield to Him
all sin and grief are buried from sight…
He speaks to hearts and calms all fear,
and stood in our stead and bore our sin.

Do not grieve nor hold to your guilt and sin,
but leave it all at the cross of the Father’s Son—
Jesus gave His life, His all, for you and me
and lives forever and reigns on high.

You can take joy in what I tell you here,
for the LORD will hear your every plea…
His sons and daughters, yes, we are His heirs
, and takes us by His hand to lead us home.

Trust in this LORD, our God, and King,
for no one, can match His worthiness
Take Him for what He says He is
and know He is the LORD of lords.

© Chrissy Siggee – 2010

Inspired by Psalm 34:8 – O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. (KJV)

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

God’s Love

John 15:8-10 (KJV)
Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so, shall ye be my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love.

The Word of God breathes the spirit of love. God is love. There are over 450 references to love in the Bible. Our Christian faith is based on love: a Love that sacrificed His life so we could live.

In 1 John 3:23, we read that there is a new commandment from God, that we should believe in his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another.

It’s not always easy to love and sometimes it’s easier not to love. Or is it? Often the consequences of not loving others as we should can be destructive to ourselves and those we do love.

How often do we choose not to love someone because of their behavior, lifestyle or simply being afraid to love them? I have a couple of friends who fear being hurt. They have chosen not to love, and in doing so have cut themselves off from so many who love them. They believe they are happy and don’t need love from others. I find their choice to be a very sad and lonely one.

If God is love and we are to live in love, we should be following all His commandments. They are all focused on his love.

If there’s someone in your life you are struggling to show love to, ask God to reveal how you can. Seek His wisdom in dealing with those who hurt you or agitate you and show them His love today.

Be encouraged… 1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and everyone that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

Father, in your great mercy, help me to show your love to those whom I find hard to love. Help me forgive those who have not shown love and grace to me so they may see Jesus in my life. Amen.

© Chrissy Siggee

Question time:

How many times does the word love appear in the text above? I will accept words that include love.

What is this post about?

I would love to read your comments.

Archived now in: 🦋 Christian Reads | Riverside Peace

Integrity

James 1:8 “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.”

James 4:8 “Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.”

It never ceases to amaze me how people can say one thing and do another. Or, how people act one way in public and then act differently behind closed doors.

I think we all can be guilty of deceit or pretense to create a better image of ourselves in the eyes of others, but God sees all and never turns a blind eye to sin. I also believe we should seek to do what is right and not at the expense of trying to deceive…or, for our own gain. We need to reconsider our ways, speak truth and serve Him with a humble heart.

Why do we do the things we do?
Why do we say the things we say?

Sometimes we need to re-evaluate our motives. Sometimes we have to check our behaviour in the sight of the Lord, and in the eyes of others. We can only live truthful lives with cleansed hearts before God…and renewed minds to serve Him in a way that is honourable.

Surely, we all want to live as we ought, represent the truth of The Word, and show integrity in all we do—seen and unseen. Don’t be double minded but seek to do what is right in His eyes and others.

Father, teach us to speak with integrity to honour you. Cleanse our heart and mind so that, in all we do, we do to reflect the life of Your son, Jesus. Amen.

© Chrissy Siggee  2018
Scripture Verses used are from the King James Version of the Bible

Archived now: 🦋 Christian Reads | Riverside Peace
.

Taste and See

O taste and see all things He has done.
There’s naught but good in our LORD,
His gentleness touches every life
and took our place on the cross for us.

He takes the shame when we yield to Him
all sin and grief are buried from sight…
He speaks to hearts and calms all fear,
and stood in our stead and bore our sin.

Do not grieve nor hold to your guilt and sin,
but leave it all at the cross of the Father’s Son—
Jesus gave His life, His all, for you and me
and lives forever and reigns on high

You can take joy in what I tell you here,
for the LORD will hear your every plea—
His sons and daughters, yes, we are His heirs
and takes us by His hand to lead us home.

Trust in this LORD, our God and King,
for no one can match His worthiness —
Take Him for what He says He is
and know He is the LORD of lords.

Psalm 34:8
O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. (KJV)

© Chrissy Siggee January 10th 2010

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

There’s Nought to Fear

Some things don’t feel right. 
Unpleasant confrontations generate a mood of sadness.
Shivers torment already traumatised nerves,
like finger nails dragged across a blackboard. 
Yet, there’s nought to fear. 

Some things are not right. 
Hostility clutches hold with naive dishonesties
and confusion creeps in with unsuspected lies. 
Cold fingers of fear grip with malicious rumours.
Yet, there’s nought to fear. 

Some things are never right. 
Malice and corruption run amok in a violated world
with greed and self-absorption taking hold. 
Unpredicted anguish and hearts full of darkness.
Yet, there’s nought to fear. 

Some things can be made right. 
Terrors of the night flee with the promise of the sunrise.
Integrity re-established to transform thoughts
benefits the practise of honest, uncorrupted lives. 
Yes, there’s nought to fear.


 ©  Chrissy Siggee 

Archived in:   🦋 Christian Reads

Yesterday’s Time Zone

Most of us possess several gifts from our Heavenly Father, but are we making the most of them? We start each morning with great ambitions, but reminders of prior faults and inadequacies may cause us to neglect some gifts.

If we permit our failures to feed our disappointments, we cringe under their power. Moving onto other God-given gifts is a way of coping with disappointments—and you might just achieve great things in other fields.

The pleasure of receiving a gift from God can often be overtaken by a hidden dread. Fear and rejection take control and the gift is dismissed, allowing yesterday’s unfulfilled dreams to destroy today’s visions.

Some of the most influential men in the Bible came from humble beginnings. Incredibly these God-fearing men questioned their ability, seeking signs and wonders from God to reassure them. They were all called to serve God and yet they all had every reason to disregard their purpose.

I am reminded of Peter’s denial of Jesus (Matthew 26:75). Just imagine where today’s church would be had Peter focused on his failure. It changed his life forever, yes—but the choice he made determined not only his, but also the Church’s future!

Gideon protested his shortcomings to God. After all, he was the least of his family in the Manasseh clan (Judges 6:15). The Lord told Gideon to go in His strength, but he was still anxious that he wasn’t the man for the job. Only after some incredible signs, did Gideon respond to his calling. How easily Gideon’s weaknesses could have kept him from overcoming?

Moses also required signs from God. He insisted that he was a man of poor speech (Exodus 4:10) and received a stinging rebuke!

Later, Moses went to Pharaoh to warn him to heed God’s words. Imagine if he gave up after the first, second or even third attempt! Moses could have also allowed his past experience with Pharaoh to prevent him from achieving God’s purposes.

At times we need mind-changing experiences, but do we always need God to give us signs because of our disappointments and weaknesses? Many conceal a gift because of fear of failure or rejection. An unused or neglected gift from God becomes void of its function. The splendour of a gift is in its use.

Today can be the beginning of a courageous journey. Explore beyond your past into expectations and hope. It’s time to stop living in yesterday’s time zone and go forth today, into the promises of tomorrow.

© Chrissy Siggee

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

My Prayer #1

I genuinely desire more time with You.

In Your presence, and by prayer and supplication, I will make my requests known to You.

You are infinite in holiness and power; I am sinful and weak.

 I will continue to pray with assurance knowing the Father does all things well. – Amen

Chrissy Siggee – February 2024

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Close of Day

silence captures a moment in time—

                  an owl sounds the close of day,

a hush falls over the darkening sky

                  and the world closes its eyes to sleep.

© Chrissy Siggee

From my book:   Glimpses of His Glory

Under Copyright: https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/4537869

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

The Loss of Aguin – by Hannah Davison

This poem was written in October 2022 by my friend Hannah after the death of a nine-month-old boy who, with his family attended the congregation Hannah attends. With the permission from Hannah, and Aguin’s family, I’m honoured to share the poem on Riverside Peace.

The Loss of Aguin

Please don’t say, “It can’t hurt that bad,”
When I speak of Joy in pain.


Nor, “She can’t have loved him much,”
When I speak of Peace the same.

No. The grief, it burns like fire:
Searing my heart.
              Numbing my mind.
                        Dulling my senses.


Dead.
My son is dead.
His body in the ground.


And off with him go fifty years
Of watching him grow,
          Making him laugh,
                 Holding his child…


Fifty years I’ll never see,
For nine months in, he went to be
With the One who made him –
Far from me…


Oh, help! The grief! It burns like fire,
 Searing the heart,
              Numbing the mind,
                     Dulling the senses.
                             … Dead…


Peace. Quiet, gentle Peace,
With powerful force I can’t comprehend,
Trickles through the smokey blackness
And holds me.

I hurt.

I’m numb.
I hurt.

By turns –
Around and around, it goes.

But, never shaking,
Never changing,
Always remaining a wall around me,
His Peace never lets me go.

And Joy?
How can I think of joy,
Much less claim it to be mine?

Ach, this Joy – it almost aches;
And I am sure it cries.
It’s as close a cousin to ‘sad’ as ‘happy’,
For it knows depth,
         It knows meaning,
                    It knows hurt…
                                  And it knows hope, of the confident kind.

Ah, the grief… it burns like fire.
Searing my heart.
     Numbing my mind.
            Dulling my senses…

Yes. It burns.
But it won’t consume.
For, wrapped in His Peace
      Touched by His Joy,
          Sustained by His Love,

We know what He has promised…

     “And He who promised is faithful.”
                              Amen

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Wisdom

Psalm 32:8 says: “I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye.”

Seeking wisdom should be a part of life. Wisdom should be sought when making decisions for a lifetime partner, parenting wisdom (from newborns through school days) teens, their wedding plans, etc. Wisdom is so important for guidance. Of course, there’s an assortment of classes, counseling, and generational pass-downs of valuable experience. Wisdom is also needed during times of crisis and when under financial pressure.

Where do we find such wisdom?

James 1:5 – “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

So why do we allow ourselves to stress out, panic, or worry in times like this? How often do we seek wisdom from the Lord?

In the early years of my marriage, I used to stress over every minor crisis, especially when my husband was interstate with work or on a course where I couldn’t contact him. When it came to a serious dilemma, I was panic-stricken. It took sheer willpower to seek wisdom through His word and be strengthened by His truths. By seeking wisdom when a situation arose, I could take my concerns immediately to the Lord in prayer.

The next time there’s a crisis or situation that requires wisdom, pray and seek out God’s wisdom in your circumstances. Through His Word and prayer, He will guide you through.

Father, show us wisdom in all situations that arise in our day-to-day lives. Teach us to trust you, seek out insights through your word, and prompt us to pray through every crisis. Strengthen us so we may stand firm when things happen that need your wisdom to see us through.  Amen.

 © Chrissy Siggee 

First Published 2009

Scripture Verses used are from the King James Version of the Bible

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads

Live Long and Prosper

Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (King James Version)

This is one of our favourite verses in the entire Bible. You may have noticed we have used the KJV of this verse above and although Norm and I use the New International Version for our every day use, this verse doesn’t work for us in the NIV.

This is how it’s written in the NIV: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Do you see the difference? Does it contradict? Does it make you feel better as a person reading the NIV version of this verse? Does it make you think you’ll be wealthy?

After discussing this, we decided that it’s more likely that the author of Jeremiah meant this for the Jewish nation as a whole; to grow stronger or to flourish. We read in the Bible that this promise was fulfilled. That is: those in exile returned, and the nation of Israel was restored for a time. God made a promise through the prophets, and that promise came true.

Our God is the God of salvation. He wants to redeem people and put them on a path of wholeness, just as He wanted the nation of Israel to be redeemed and to be whole again. He really wanted them to thrive and flourish.

As any fan of Star Trek knows, to “live long and prosper” is good advice.

Have a very happy and prosperous New Year.

© Chrissy & Norm Siggee

Resources:
Origin: 1425–75; late Middle English prosperen < Latin prosperāre to make happy, derivative of prosperus translated as prosperous
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/live-long-and-prosper.html
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/prosper

Archived in
Christian Reads by Chrissy at Riverside Peace

They Parted His Garments

And when they had crucified him, they parted his garments, casting lots upon them, what every man should take. Mark 15:24

This stripping of Jesus was so appalling that it was referred to in all four Gospels.

Matthew, who observed that this occurrence was a fulfilment of Psalm 22:18 “They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture.”

Mark, who himself fled naked from the mob in the garden.

Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

John also refers to the Psalm, as Matthew did, but also gives the most detail and accurate description of the whole agony of the crucifixion.

The Christ lived in purity and dignity of manhood. Almost all pictures of the crucifixion give us the view of a dignified Jesus. But one gospel records the scene — “They stripped Him,” John said. Naked He came from His mother’s womb, and naked He hangs from a tree.

Adam experienced the shame of nakedness in Eden because of his transgression. So too, the Son of God took our sinful flesh and the shame of our nakedness upon Himself.

I believe there were two elements to the crucifixion; one of the physical and the other of the mental suffering. Jesus was despised and rejected, even by His own friends. He was oppressed by sinners, held in contempt by the soldiers, cursed by men and stripped of His garments.

His garments. His seamless robe. A garment fit for a king. His clothing wouldn’t have been a beggar’s rags.

But when I read Psalm 93:1 “The LORD reigneth, he is clothed with majesty; the LORD is clothed with strength, wherewith he hath girded himself: the world also is stablished, that it cannot be moved.” It puts a put a whole new perspective and horror to the story. They parted His garments and cast lots…

© Chrissy Siggee

Scripture Verses used are from the King James Version of the Bible

Archived in: Christian Reads

It’s Time to Grow Up!

‘Simon!’ Dad called from the back of the house. ‘Come and fix this mess!’

‘Uh-oh…’

Simon stopped at the door of the laundry and watched as bright red foamy bubbles spewed from the family’s washing machine. ‘Oops.’

‘Oops is right and you’d better clean it up before your mother returns with the groceries. Then, you had better deal with that car of yours. The windscreen looks like the aftermath of a locust plague.’

The unusually quiet son entered the kitchen later that day and watched his parents move about to prepare for the evening meal. Steak, onions and potatoes sat ready for preparing. He sat in a chair to watch. Simon was always fascinated and somewhat proud of how they worked together. Being the youngest of five, and at almost twenty-three, Simon knew it was time to give his parents a break and move out on his own but…

‘Hey, Simon’, his mother interrupted his thoughts. ‘Are you going to the young adults Bible Study tonight?’

‘Yeah… I’ve even completed this week’s study questions,’ he grinned.

Dad looked up from chopping onions. Tears ran down his cheeks. ‘Really?’

Simon grinned at the voice that didn’t match the tears, which were thankfully not related to this latest bit of news. ‘Um…yeah. We’re studying Hebrews chapter five. I’m…um…finding it quite interesting.’

His mother wiped her hands and approached the table. ‘May I ask why?’

Dad continued to chop and sniff.

‘I’ll show you.’ Simon left the room and returned a few minutes later with his New International Version of the Bible. He opened it to where it was bookmarked.

‘You see,’ he began, ‘last week’s topic was about “Warnings Against Falling Away”. Verses 11 to 15 says: “We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”’

Dad wiped his eyes before joining them at the table. ‘What do you think these verses are saying?’

‘Well,’ he began thoughtfully. ‘It’s like eating.’

His parents laughed in unison.

‘Yeah, I know. Everything with me is related to food,’ he grinned. ‘But it’s like the verse says, we have to stop just drinking milk and get in to the steak and potatoes of life…and onions,’ he finished with a chuckle.

Dad reached across, pulled the Bible to him and turned it around. ‘Yes, you’re right. We need to grow and mature in His grace.’ He paused and turned over a few pages. ‘Hebrews 10:25-27 also says: “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.”’

‘Pretty heavy stuff’, Simon sighed. ‘But I think I’m beginning to understand this whole adulthood stuff. I mean, I’m no longer a child, or a teenager anymore. I’m supposed to be an adult. Right? Not just as a person, but as a Christian. I can’t rely on you and Mum all my life to feed me or clean up after me. In the same way, I need to get into the Word and grow up.’

His mother smiled. ‘Even us older Christians need to grow. We can never outgrow the need to grow. But, you’re right, Simon. You do need to do this for yourself.’ She reached out and touched his hand. ‘Is there more to this conversation than impressing us?’

Simon took a deep breath. ‘Well, I like my job and doing church stuff, but…’

‘But what?’ There was a hint of worry in his father’s tone.

‘This week’s Bible study has had me seriously praying about a few things. I’m ready to put away childish things. I’ve decided to start adulthood properly. I’m going to attend Bible College. I believe that’s where God wants me to be.’

© Chrissy Siggee

 This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Archived in: 🦋 Christian Reads 

MEMORY OF DREAD – Part Six

🦋 – a short murder mystery for the Christian reader – Part 6 🦋

Brenda gasped. ‘What?’ She stared back at Constable Hoxley then turned to Inspector O’Malley. ‘When did you find this out?’

‘This morning,’ Hoxley replied. ‘Frank Davies’ drive to claim you several years ago set him into a downhill spiral. He began skimming money from your husband’s bank accounts a few years ago as well.’

‘Davies introduced Carlos Lorenzo to Charles as a gardener,’ Hoxley continued. ‘Lorenzo was to spy on your husband’s clients for Davies and to check your comings and goings. He had an elaborate plan that would not only get you but ultimately Charles’ company and investments. Because of Davies’ dirty dealings, he unintentionally put you in danger, even from some of Charles’ clients. Why, we aren’t completely sure.’

Hoxley flicked through his notebook before continuing. ‘Davies’ plans began to come unstuck when you took a dislike to Lorenzo, whose feelings, as you know, were mutual. However, Lorenzo had already become a loyal worker, and possibly a good friend to Charles, at least someone he could trust. Because of this, Charles learned of Davies’ desire to have you and his money. But, he needed proof. The private door was your husband’s idea for private meetings with Lorenzo and clients who were aware of Davies’ dirty dealings. We suppose Lorenzo simply got tired of playing Davies’ sick games, including the blackmailing.’

Brenda sat in dumb silence. This had been going on for at least two years? It was inconceivable. Why hadn’t I noticed? Where was I when these meetings were going on in my own home? She couldn’t even speculate why Charles put up with Frank for so long, proof or no proof.

‘Six months ago,’ O’Malley broke into her thoughts, ‘Davies represented a small-time drug smuggler. The accused walked and Davies’ pocketed a large amount of laundered cash.’

‘And Charles didn’t know any of this?’ Brenda interrupted her frustration showing from her usual demeanour.

‘Oh… it gets better,’ O’Malley sniggered. ‘Lorenzo found out about the money and dug up some more dirt on Davies.’

His tone softened. ‘But no, I don’t think your husband was aware, at least not until much later. Perhaps only recently. Charles did pay Lorenzo enough money to pay off the blackmail so Davies wouldn’t know things had changed. This we discovered in a ledger your husband kept for his own records, not that he actually recorded it as blackmail money. He recorded Carlos Lorenzo in his last tax records as a business advisor, hence a higher payment.’

Brenda stood and walked back and forth, not that there was much room with the four of them in the small office. The three officers watched her and waited. She turned to Hoxley. Her mind went back to the early piece of news that shocked her most.

‘But I hardly know Frank. He attended business lunches and dinners with us. I sometimes sat in occasional meetings where it involved my own investments but other than that, I only knew Frank as Charles’ lawyer. Why would I be attracted to Frank?’ She hugged herself and grimaced. ‘I doubt I could ever be. You are kidding. Right?’

Hoxley shook his head slowly. ‘Sorry. They were his words. I admit though, he’s one sick man and you have no way to lead him on.’ He turned to McDougal who had picked up the file on the Asian guy.

‘This Asian character,’ McDougal began, ‘was one of Davies’ clients. He was also a client of Charles’ for a legitimate business. Somehow after a meeting with Charles, Davies, and this client, this file got caught in some of Charles’ own paperwork. When Davies went to work on the file, he couldn’t find it and figured out what must have happened.’

‘So, this file,’ she pointed, ‘is what put Charles and me in danger?’ Brenda asked directly.

‘Yes, and this is where it gets messy,’ McDougal replied. ‘You see this client, Fo-Yong-Ho, is also a member of an Asian drug ring. He had met with Davies before this meeting with Charles; the morning before Charles’ murder.’

McDougal handed Brenda the file page. ‘These numbers indicate names of drug dealers or rather their code names.’ He walked over in two short steps and stood beside Brenda. He pointed to the third number on the list. ‘This number here for instance: 49560HO is Fo-Yong-Ho’s. This sign here,’ he pointed to an Asian character symbol before the number, ‘represents what would be the third letter of their alphabet. What’s so important about the list is that the ASIS (Australia Secret Intelligence Service) would love to get their hands on it, and as soon as we have finished with the murder case, they can have it along with Frank Davies.’

‘You mean he’s on the list?’ Brenda was beginning to understand. She ran her index finger down the page. ‘71062FB! You’re kidding: number 27. As simple as that? But, does this mean he’s just…?’

‘Just a pawn,’ the sergeant finished for her. But a valuable pawn to the ASIS.

Brenda went to the sofa and sat down. With her head bowed slightly she touched her wedding ring. She took in a slow deep breath. ‘Look, I’m grateful for you all explaining all this. It gives me an idea of what Charles was dealing with. About Frank I mean.’ Her voice wavered. ‘It’s also good to know why Charles died but what I really want to know is who killed him. Was it Carlos? Was it Frank? Or… this Fo-Yong-Ho person?’

‘Let me give you the facts about your husband,’ O’Malley began. ‘He wasn’t perfectly innocent in a few things but if he was still alive, he would probably be charged for withholding information that would have led to the arrests of Davies and at least a few other names on this list. Also, the fact is he would have known sometime after he employed Lorenzo that he was an illegal resident. For those things alone he may or may not have received much more than an acquitted short-term sentence.’ He returned to his chair behind the desk. ‘His gun, as you know, was registered but we’re unsure why it was in his drawer fully loaded.’

Brenda had listened in silence as tears suddenly streamed uncontrollably down her cheeks. She didn’t bother to wipe them away. Had her husband been a criminal or just plain stupid? The thought gnawed at her.

Hoxley came over and sat beside her. As if reading her mind, he said, ‘Brenda, the way I see it, the only thing that Charles was really guilty of was protecting the woman he loved. He wasn’t letting any creep-of-a-lawyer claim you, or his company.’

‘That’s about the size of it,’ McDougal conceded.

O’Malley cleared his throat and gulped down his cooling coffee. ‘Let’s finish this up so Sergeant McDougal can continue his research on this Fo-Yong-Ho character.’

The officers returned to their notes and waited for each other to continue.

Hoxley took the lead. ‘After Davies discovered that the file was missing he told Lorenzo to find it or else he would report him to the authorities. Davies informed him that you and Charles would be out most of the night and that he would have plenty of time to search. Fo-Yong-Ho called Davies at about 10:00 pm to question him about an error in one of the code numbers. Out of panic, Davies told Fo-Yong-Ho that he had hidden it in Charles’ home safe for security and that he, Davies, could retrieve it in the morning. However, when Lorenzo hadn’t reported back to Davies as scheduled he went to the house to see what was keeping him. Shortly after midnight, Davies entered Charles’ home office by the side door, just as Lorenzo had done earlier.’ Looking up he added, ‘Apparently Davies had known about the side door but assumed it was just for Lorenzo.’ Here he paused to flip to the next page. ‘Lorenzo had found the file and realized what it was or, at least he had a fair idea. Davies found him in the process of photocopying the file. He hadn’t heard Davies enter, probably because of the noise of the photocopier. Davies struck Lorenzo over the back of the head with the eagle paperweight.’

‘Forensics,’ O’Malley interrupted, ‘had discovered some dried blood on the eagle. At first, they thought it was Charles’ but until today we really had no idea whose blood it was. When Davies made his statement this morning, forensics paid a visit to Lorenzo in his cell for a sample.’

‘When Lorenzo regained consciousness,’ Hoxley continued, ‘Davies was sitting in Charles’ chair. Lorenzo was tied up and Davies had Charles’ gun pointing at him.’ He looked over to the sergeant.

‘Yes,’ McDougal confirmed. ‘Lorenzo had admitted in a later interview that he had found the gun in Charles’ desk drawer and had been just checking it out while the photocopier warmed up. He had placed it on the desk to press the copy button. A silly mistake no matter how you look at it.’

McDougal took a moment to sip his coffee and waited for any questions. When none came, he continued. ‘Lorenzo also told us that Davies forced him to confess everything including details about the ledger that he found during his own search of the office after rendering him helpless. Davies then gagged Lorenzo and threatened him to keep quiet.’

When McDougal stopped to take a long drink, Hoxley continued the narrative.

‘Davies decided he would wait for Charles to have it out with him, only he didn’t expect the telephone to ring on your arrival. He panicked and forced Lorenzo to hide with him behind one of the large double doors he had opened so he would know when you both returned home. Once Charles picked up the phone in the office, Davies waited a few minutes to be sure you had gone upstairs. By that time Davies had figured out it was Fo-Yong-Ho on the phone. Davies said Charles raised his voice at Fo-Yong-Ho telling him that he would deal with the situation at their next meeting. Davies said he was unsure what the conversation was about but figured Fo-Yong-Ho must have used some weak excuse to call, perhaps to make a visit himself. We don’t know.’

‘Hang on…’ Brenda interrupted. ‘Back up a bit. This Fo-Yong-Ho, Charles had no idea that he was a drug dealer. Right?’

‘Fo-Yong-Ho was a client of Charles with a legitimate jewelry business, which was also a cover-up for the drug dealing, but he used the family company name when dealing with Charles.’ Hoxley checked his notes. ‘Minh Nhung’.

‘Davies has confirmed that Charles knew nothing about the drug deals,’ McDougal added for Brenda’s benefit.

After a quiet minute in thought, Brenda nodded for them to continue. She was tired and felt like she had been sucked through an engine of a jet plane but she needed to know the rest so she could make sense of it all.

O’Malley’s phone rang before anyone could speak. ‘O’Malley. Yes, right. Good job! Thanks.’ He hung up. ‘A highway patrol constable has Fo-Yong-Ho in custody but more on that later. We’re almost done. Continue Hoxley.’

‘According to the telephone company, the call lasted no more than a couple of minutes. Davies confirmed it. When Charles replaced the telephone receiver, he turned to follow you upstairs only he was confronted by Davies who had stepped out from behind the door with Lorenzo held tightly in his grip and the gun in his free hand. Davies claimed he just wanted to talk. His plan was to take Lorenzo as hostage and leave the country with Fo-Yong-Ho. He told Charles if he called the police or tried to follow, he’d have Fo-Yong-Ho get someone to kill you.’ He paused. ‘Davies also told us that he would never have done that and his real plan was to have you abducted and take you out of the country too.’

Brenda felt ill and must have looked at it. McDougal filled a glass with water from a jug on O’Malley’s desk and handed it to her. She accepted it with thanks.

Hoxley continued. ‘Lorenzo kicked and twisted himself out of Davies’ grip. Charles made a dive for Davies but the gun was by then, aimed at Lorenzo. Charles dived between them as Davies fired, taking the bullet for Lorenzo. Charles apparently died instantly. When Lorenzo began to gag on his own vomit, Davies dragged him back out the side door to the garden before he removed the handkerchief from his mouth telling him to stay put and keep quiet or he would get a bullet in his head. Davies then went back inside, wiped the gun clean, and placed it in Charles’ hand. He also wiped his prints off the paperweight but missed the blood. Because he was a regular to the room, he didn’t bother to clean up too much else. He was so flustered he left the room without the file and the photocopy he had placed on the filing cabinet behind the door when he hid there with Lorenzo. He returned for Lorenzo and left. When he realised his carelessness he sent Lorenzo back to retrieve the file but by that time they had to wait until the forensics had left. He was in the house when Davis took you back to pack a suitcase.’

‘Thinking back on it,’ McDougal added, ‘Davies’ behaviour was meant to be a distraction and probably timed your visit to make sure Lorenzo wasn’t caught. What he didn’t expect was your sensitive nose.’

Brenda took a deep breath. ‘So it was Frank?’

‘Yes. Davies was the one who pulled the trigger that ultimately killed your husband.’ Hoxley walked over and put his hand on her shoulder and sat down. ‘He died saving Carlos’ life and trying to stop Frank from proceeding with his plans.’

Brenda gave a deep audible sigh. ‘I need to be left alone. Please.’

McDougal and O’Malley quietly collected their notebooks and empty coffee cups and left the office.

He stood up. ‘Do you want me to send in Cheryl?’ Hoxley asked.

‘Not yet,’ she replied weakly. ‘Give me half an hour,’ she added. She managed what she hoped was a thankful smile.

He left and closed the door quietly.

In some ways she was relieved; relieved Charles didn’t suffer. Relieved it was all over. Relieved they had found Fo-Yong-Ho and relieved the law would deal with Frank and Carlos. Yet, a sensation of unexpected sadness tugged at her.

Carlos was also a victim and almost killed by this lunatic, perhaps trying to save Charles. Her emotions confused her. ‘Oh Charles, why?’ The pain was drowning her. She rested her head on the back of the sofa. Just as she did, a still small voice spoke within her. ‘Child, lean on me. Cast all your burdens upon me and I will give you rest.’ Brenda prayed quietly until the floodgates opened. It seemed to wash all the pain,  grief, and dread of the past few weeks away in one cleansing torrent.

The life she and Charles had shared was over but she knew deep down this was a new beginning. She thanked the Lord for ten wonderful years with Charles, her safety, and closure. It was time to move, on to a new life with her newfound faith in a God who loved her.

THE END

© Chrissy Siggee

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Archived in: Christian Reads

MEMORY OF DREAD – Part Five

🦋 – a short murder mystery for the Christian reader – Part 5 🦋

Time seemed to move in slow motion. Cheryl was chatting away as she busied herself in her kitchen.

Although Brenda had appreciated the conversation, she was way too distracted to comprehend what she was hearing. Her hand was much better after the emergency department treated the burn and re-bandaged it. She smiled briefly as she thought of Peter’s first-aid efforts.

‘This coffee sure beats the cup Peter brewed at the police station,’ she said when Cheryl came over and sat down opposite of her.

‘Brenda, you need to rest. You really should have some sleep before Peter returns home this evening. That’s your fourth coffee since you’ve arrived. Not that I mind.’ Cheryl sighed. ‘Peter has put your suitcase in the spare room. Why don’t I run you a hot bath?  You can change into something more comfortable for a nap. Look at yourself. You’ve been in that stiff-tailored suit all day.’ She tugged at the coffee-stained sleeve. ‘I’m worried about you, and Peter’s going to be worried too if he sees you like this.’

Brenda put her cup down and reached out to touch Cheryl’s hand. ‘You two have become good friends. I wish Charles had a chance to meet you.’ She gulped away another threatening sob.

A sympathetic face looked back. ‘If I have to, I’ll undress you myself and put you in that tub, then, tuck you into bed…for at least a few hours. Cheryl gently squeezed her hand. ‘I’m going to pray with you right now.’ She paused. ‘Please. Did you get any sleep at the hotel?’

Brenda couldn’t lie. She smiled, awkwardly, and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling before bowing her head while her friend prayed the most beautiful prayer she had ever heard.

Soon she was settled into a hot bath filled with bubbles finally allowing herself to relax. She laid back, closed her eyes, and listened to the CD Cheryl had playing in the next room. The music was soothing and the words were filled with praises and promises from the Psalms. She listened and began to hum along. The tune was one she had heard a long time ago. Peace is flowing like a river, flowing out to you and me…

Later that evening, Brenda felt more relaxed and refreshed. A rest, a good meal, and a fresh change of clothes did help. Peter updated her, although there really wasn’t much to tell. They were still clueless, and although a replacement lawyer had been found for Brenda, Frank Davies had not yet found legal assistance. He was being uncooperative.

‘What about the client’s file they were trying to find?’ Brenda asked after the brief update.

‘We haven’t found it. At least nothing that looks suspicious. There’s one thing though. Carlos told O’Malley when he was arrested that the gun was on the desk when he was in the house the night of Charles’ death but then he changed his statement and said he didn’t see it. After that, his information was not so forthcoming.’

‘So did Carlos kill Charles?’ Brenda persisted.

Peter stifled a yawn. ‘To be honest, I don’t think he did, but, if he did, it was by Davis’ instructions…or someone else’s – if there is a someone else.’ This time he didn’t manage to cover his yawn in time and apologised before heading to bed.

Cheryl left a few minutes later but not until Brenda had a private moment to thank her again. Brenda stayed awhile in the living room alone with her thoughts and memories.

The next morning Cheryl accompanied Brenda to the police station at Brenda’s invitation. It would be a long day for her and she needed a friend around while Peter and O’Malley were busy with other things. Cheryl had gone to the kitchen to brew some coffee she had brought from home. O’Malley opened the door and held it open for Cheryl, who followed with two large mugs of steaming coffee.

Once the women were seated on the sofa and O’Malley at his desk, O’Malley held up a thin manila file folder. ‘We found the file.’ He opened it and pulled out what appeared to be a sheet of ordinary office paper.

‘Is that all there is?’ Brenda asked a little confused.

He stood and leaned over the desk to hand it to her. There appeared to be an Asian name at the top, some contact details, and then a whole lot of figures: mathematical symbols and what looked like serial numbers or possibly invoice numbers.

After she gave it a good look-over she handed it back. ‘What does it mean?’

‘I’m not sure but it was hidden in the lining of Frank Davies’ briefcase. What I want to know is why someone would want to steal a single sheet of paper from your husband?’ He sat down again. ‘And, why would it lead to his death?’ He studied the paper while the women drank their coffee in silence.

Brenda began to pace. After a few minutes, she looked at her watch and placed her empty mug in Cheryl’s hand when she had reached for it. ‘Thanks, Cheryl. I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit of a bore for you today.’

Cheryl smiled. ‘That’s all right. I’m here if you need me. If you need some space, I’ll be in the kitchen.’ She left, closing the door behind her.

O’Malley stood up and started to leave. ‘Oh, I almost forgot. We sent the forensic team back out to your house late yesterday with some specific instructions. Once they are through with their examination, our cleaners will be sent in and have it ready for you when this is all over. I hope for your sake that it’ll be soon. I’ve taken the liberty of finding you a new lawyer, Cole Webster. We’ll hand over a few of Charles’ personal files, including his current Will. That’s if you’re happy with Webster.’

Brenda nodded before he continued.

‘There was nothing in your husband’s personal files that could help the investigation. I believe everything was left to you except for a holiday cottage which he left to his brother, Patrick.’

‘Yes, I was aware of that. We discussed it some time ago.’

‘We had the authorities speak with Patrick. Everything was in order.’ He paused. ‘Patrick has offered any assistance if you should need it and sends his condolences. I believe he’s been interstate for business trips these past weeks and wasn’t even aware of Charles’ death.’

Brenda’s hand went to her forehead. ‘I hadn’t even thought about contacting Patrick. I feel terrible.’

‘Well, it’s understandable, considering you had been detained, and Davis obviously wasn’t doing his job. Anyway, my office is yours for the day. I’ll be in and out to update you, and get files as I need them.’

He started to gather a few things from his filing cabinet and desk when they heard a scuffle outside the door. They both watched as Cheryl burst in and placed her back up against the door.

‘I believe that’s Carlos.’ Cheryl pointed over her shoulder. ‘He’s not happy.’

Carlos Lorenzo was causing a commotion in the hallway as officers tried to escort him to the holding cell after yet another interview.

The inspector sighed. ‘If he does get off the murder charge, he’ll be serving a few years for breaking-and-entering, and stealing before being deported. Our friend Carlos is an illegal immigrant. But right now we need to separate him from Frank Davies. Davies, by the way, will represent himself. He doesn’t appear to have too many colleagues that like him. I wonder why?’ He bid farewell to the ladies and left.

Brenda wandered to a small barred window that overlooked the parking lot. The bars made her cringe. Would she ever be free of these memories?

The meeting with the new lawyer went well, ending with a promise of a letter going to the magistrate that afternoon to support the new police findings. The letter was roughly drafted for Brenda’s benefit and the Will was read in full. Charles’ funeral arrangements were discussed and partially organized but a date couldn’t be determined until the investigation was over and his body released by the coroner. Cheryl had been there throughout the meeting at Brenda’s request.

After the meeting Brenda wanted to take a walk but she knew, at least for today, would be impossible. Her thoughts involuntarily wandered to the Asian man. Who is he? Where is he? What did he want?

‘Do you have any family of your own, Brenda?’

Brenda felt the urge to hug her friend, so she did. ‘Thanks for being here for me, Cheryl.’ She released her and stepped back to the window. ‘My father passed away after a long painful illness a few months ago. There’s just my mother; I have no siblings. I had finally convinced her to go with a friend on a cruise. She left the day before Charles died. I’m glad she did. I’m not sure if she could have coped with all this.’ She turned to face Cheryl. ‘Anyway, she’s due back next week when this will hopefully be all over. I called her on Sunday after you and Peter dropped me back at the hotel. I didn’t tell her anything. Just that I missed her…’ She finished and looked down at her feet.

Brenda felt Cheryl’s arm go round her waist.

This dear friend was a good head and shoulders shorter than Brenda but she had been a tower of support. She rested her head on the top of Cheryl’s. They stood in silence until a knock came and Peter entered.

‘I’m going to get us some lunch. I won’t be long.’ He stepped inside and closed the door. ‘Brenda, Frank’s told us everything. As soon as we get his interview typed up and some legal paperwork done, we can let you know what’s going on. We need to find this Asian fellow though. All we have is his name and a telephone number in a motel’s reception. I’ll be back soon. We’ll need to start praying.’ He kissed Cheryl’s cheek and left.

Brenda was amazed at this couple’s faith in God. ‘Cheryl,” she said eagerly. ‘I want what you and Peter have. I mean, I need hope and you two seem to have that hope in God. Show me how to get that same faith and assurance you have.’

Cheryl’s face lit up and she encouraged Brenda to sit and pray with her. ‘This is a big day for you; in more ways than one.’

After they had eaten and the officers and station staff returned to their duties, Brenda returned to the office with O’Malley and Peter following close behind. Cheryl stayed to clean up the station’s tiny kitchen.

Once the three were seated, Police Officer Sergeant McDougal, joined them. McDougal gave a preliminary report. Most of it Brenda had already heard, except for some details of her own arrest and interview but she was able to add a few extra details to complete the report.

Constable Peter Hoxley then began his report on Carlos. ‘Carlos Lorenzo has been an illegal immigrant of some four years. A year after his arrival, Frank Davies represented Carlos for a minor traffic offense. Davies found out about Lorenzo’s illegal papers and began to blackmail him.’ He placed some notes on O’Malley’s desk and looked over at Brenda before continuing. ‘Basically, Frank used Carlos to do his dirty work.’ He nodded to O’Malley to continue.

‘Frank Davies had been working with your husband long before you and he were married…’

‘Yes, I know that.’ Brenda interrupted. ‘What does that have to do with Carlos?’

‘Carlos Lorenzo was hired to spy on you, Brenda.’ He paused to let this newest information sink in. ‘You see, Brenda, Frank Davies says he was in love with you and still is.’

© Chrissy Siggee

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Archived in: Christian Reads

MEMORY OF DREAD – Part Four

🦋 – a short murder mystery for the Christian reader – Part 4 🦋

The window resembled no similarities to the peaceful beauty Brenda enjoyed in the church window just yesterday. What she recalled though was the early hours of the cold morning less than a week ago. Only it wasn’t her who sat beside Frank Davies in a stark interview room; it was Carlos.

Police Officer, and now friend, Peter Hoxley, placed a supportive hand on her shoulder. ‘Are you sure you’re okay with this?’ He stood beside the plastic chair where she sat staring through what looked like a two-way mirror. ‘They can’t see or hear you, and you are perfectly safe. They don’t even know you have been invited to witness the interview.’

Brenda took a deep breath and then eased it out slowly, a technique a counselor showed her at the prison. It helped somewhat throughout her short but terrifying incarceration. ‘I’ll be fine. I just don’t understand why I’m here.’

At that moment Inspector O’Malley stepped into the small room and leaned back against the door.

With eyes still fixed on the two men on the other side of the glass, Brenda began with reluctance. ‘What surprises me…and it probably shouldn’t, is the fact that Frank is here for Carlos. I mean, is it legal for him to represent both of us?’

‘It is,’ O’Malley replied. ‘At least at the moment.’ He walked over to the glass and watched the two men for a few minutes. The whispering was becoming heated and Carlos was fidgeting and shaking his fist at his lawyer.

‘I think we might begin, Mrs Stanton.’ He paused, ‘or would Brenda make things a little easier?’ At her nod, he continued. ‘I asked you to come because something doesn’t fit with Frank’s story, not Carlos’ so much. I need you to listen carefully, and when I come out Hoxley will see you to my office. I’ll join you once I’ve returned Carlos to his cell…and decide how to proceed with this lawyer character.’

Still slightly confused, she nodded in agreement anyway. She knew that Peter had described to O’Malley what had occurred with Frank the day before which may have been part of the explanation. She watched the men squirm in their chairs when the inspector entered the interview room. Peter turned a dial beside the window she hadn’t noticed before. They could now hear the voices clearly.

‘This interview begins at 9.30am. I’m speaking with Carlos Lorenzo who is with his lawyer, Frank Davies, in regard to incidents relating to the murder of one Charles Stanton.’

‘Carlos Lorenzo, and Frank Davies, are you both aware this interview is being recorded and give permission to do so?’

The two answered with clear responses and confirmed that they agreed to the recording of the interview.

Brenda shivered and pulled her jacket around her. She adjusted her posture and leaned forward.

Peter stood with his forearm against the frame of the window, watching and listening.

Carlos was speaking rapidly to Frank in his own native language. Expletives were obvious.

O’Malley raised his hand; palm facing Carlos to halt the outrage. The room fell silent.

‘Mr Lorenzo, please explain in your own words why you were in the home of Charles and Brenda Stanton in the early hours of last Friday morning.’

He cursed again. ‘I look for pay cheque. Mister Charles…he always pay me on Wen-day. I thought maybe I won’t get now he dead.’

‘Why didn’t you speak to Mr Davies in regard to your payment? He is Mr Stanton’s lawyer. Right?’

He glanced sideways at his lawyer. ‘I do not trust Mister Frank.’

Frank crossed his arms and huffed like a spoiled child.

The inspector looked at Carlos; his left eyebrow slightly raised. O’Malley continued a little quieter, a little more direct. ‘Why don’t you trust your own lawyer, Carlos?’

‘Cause he promise good pay when I start work. Mister Charles did not know this when we disgus’ money…two year ago. Mister Charles always keeps my cheque under ee-gull paper-rate on desk. If he not in office, I take. I do always.’

A deep audible intake of breath caused Peter to jerk his head to face Brenda. She looked at him. ‘I never knew that. I’ve never known Carlos to be in my home.’

The inspector continued. ‘Did you find the cheque?’

‘No. It not there.’

‘Tell me, Carlos, how did you get past the officers at the house the morning following the murder? They had been there since daylight. Before that, two other officers were on guard.’

Carlos fidgeted and Frank stood and paced.

‘Well?’ Inspector O’Malley persisted.

It was Frank who answered. ‘There’s a side door.’

‘Where?’ O’Malley’s question echoed Brenda’s, from the other side of the glass.

Peter moved closer to Brenda. ‘Are you OK?’ She sucked in her lips and nodded but had missed the first part of Frank’s reply.

‘It sounded like his closet.’ She paused. ‘Oh God,’ she whispered.

The inspector must have said something similar because Carlos continued with: ‘not clozit. Like clozit. It old window. He ren-no-vate. Missus Stuck Up did not like Carlos.’ He crossed his arms and sat back.

Heat filled Brenda’s cheeks. Her eyes stung.

Frank continued to pace.

‘Where were you on the night Charles Stanton died?’

Carlos glared at his lawyer and swore in English. ‘You tell.’

Pressing his lips together he locked his arms tighter. Frank’s jaw jerked sideways and stiffened. He shoved his hands into his pockets and returned to his seat. He glanced down at his knees and then looked into O’Malley’s eyes. ‘I think I need a lawyer.’

Brenda stood up; her mouth opened.

Carlos smiled and turned to O’Malley. ‘Carlos in Mister Charles’s house…with Mister Frank.’

Brenda’s knees went weak.

‘Whoa there.’ Peter grabbed her elbow and helped her back into the chair.

She continued to listen but she could no longer watch.

‘Shut up!’ Frank exclaimed and jumped to his feet.

‘NO! You shud-up’

‘That’s enough,’ O’Malley snapped back.

‘Mister Frank said Carlos must get a…’ he clicked his fingers and looked thoughtful.

‘A file, if you must know,’ Frank finished for Carlos. ‘A client’s file.’

‘Go on,’ O’Malley insisted calmly.

By now, Brenda had regained her posture but was taking long slow breaths to help ease an attack of nausea, which threatened to overwhelm her. She noticed that Peter had closed his eyes. His lips were moving in silent prayer. She touched his arm. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.

Frank started to pace again; hands deep in his pockets. ‘It was the client that Charles was speaking to on the phone that night.’ He paused and then returned to his seat placing his hands in front of him on the table. He sighed. ‘Carlos is guilty, but for only one thing: he entered Charles’ home that night without permission. I’ll continue this interview only after I make my allowed telephone call and have a lawyer present.’ He leaned back and folded his arms.

A smug grin crossed Carlos’ unshaven face.

O’Malley officially brought the interview to a close and instructed them to wait.

Once O’Malley had closed the door behind him he looked at Brenda with eyes that glistened. He smiled apologetically and asked Hoxley to take her to his office and make coffee for three. It was going to be a long meeting.

‘A penny for your thoughts,’ Hoxley asked, handing Brenda a steaming mug of black coffee. ‘Sorry, no milk,’ he added apologetically.

‘Black is fine, thanks.’ She sniffed the tantalizing brew and sipped. She grimaced and pressed two fingers into her closed lips but not before a sob escaped. ‘Sorry,’ she sniffled.

He handed her a handkerchief from his pocket. ‘Don’t be. That wasn’t something any of us expected…and you’re right, the coffee does taste worse than it smells.’

Brenda wiped the wetness from under her eyes. She glanced down at the smear of mascara on the white cloth. ‘What will Cheryl say?’

‘She’ll understand.’ He sat on the corner of the desk sipping his coffee.

O’Malley entered the room.

Still sitting, Peter pointed to a mug of coffee beside the computer. O’Malley thanked him and sat down. He took a couple of long slow mouthfuls before replacing the cup on a cardboard coaster. Peter stood and moved a few steps to a chair near the door.

The office was small but comfortably furnished. She had sat on a small sofa of sorts that was probably the most expensive piece of furniture in the room. It was a lot more comfortable than Brenda felt in the silence. She sipped more of the foul-tasting brew and warmed her hands on the cup.

‘Brenda,’ O’Malley finally said. ‘I can’t go against the magistrate’s court order but I think once you find another lawyer we can get some of these bail restrictions lifted. By that time we may even get you cleared of all charges.’ He looked up at his young constable thoughtfully and then back to Brenda. ‘Why don’t I have Hoxley drive you to the motel and get your things.’

‘Why? I can’t go home. Not yet.’

‘No. You can’t,’ Hoxley answered for his boss. ‘I think, what Inspector O’Malley is suggesting is that I take you home to stay with Cheryl and me until we organize a few things.’

‘It’s not quite the norm but considering the unusual situation,’ O’Malley pointed in the direction of the holding cells, ‘I think you’ll be safer with the Hoxleys. No one, except us three, and Cheryl, will know where you’ll be staying.’

Brenda almost spilled her coffee. ‘What are you saying? Am I in danger?’

‘I didn’t mean to alarm you but there’s no easier way to say it. Yes, I believe you are in danger. From whom, I’m not sure. I’m hoping the only two involved are sitting in our holding cells. But, there’s still a missing link and I want you safe until all this is over. You can stay with Constable Hoxley and his wife at least until I can get a safe house or witness protection organized.’

Brenda only realised she was shaking when hot black liquid spilled onto her hand and down into the sleeve of her jacket. She felt numb. Even when Peter had rushed out and returned with ice water, she hadn’t realized her hand was scalding red. What the inspector had said in those short moments, she couldn’t comprehend.

‘Why?’ Was all she could manage as Hoxley slopped icy cold water over her hand and dabbed at it lightly with his handkerchief that he had somehow retrieved from her clenched fingers.

O’Malley sat beside her. ‘Brenda,’ he took her hand and checked it as he talked. ‘I’m hoping it won’t come to that, but you need to know before you leave here. If we uncover anything that may show you to be in danger, you have to be protected.’ He released her hand.

Her hand stayed poised in mid-air momentarily and looked down at the now stinging hand and wrist. Blowing on it she accepted the cold glass from Peter and rested it on the back of her hand, the area that smarted the most.

‘Take her via the hospital and get that checked out Hoxley. Call Cheryl before you leave here to make sure she’s alone. No visitors. Understand? At least until we know more. I’ll send an officer around until you finish up here for the day.’

‘Yes, Sir.’ Peter grinned at Brenda. ‘Looks like you’ll be explaining about the mascara yourself.’

Brenda could only force a small smile and thank them. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said to both officers.

‘Don’t be. There’s nothing to be sorry for,’ O’Malley said. There was a measure of gentleness in his voice. ‘Now, I want you to try and relax while I go into the front office and get some of these calls taken care of, and while Hoxley gets organized.’

He pointed to the seat Brenda was sitting on. ‘Put your feet up while you wait.’ Stepping back around the desk, he grabbed his coffee and left.

Hoxley followed but turned at the door. ‘It will be all right. Try and hand it over to the Lord.’ He smiled and closed the door behind him leaving Brenda to herself.

The cushions were soft and inviting but she was too distraught to relax. Resting her elbows on her knees and head in her hands, she wept. The realization had struck hard. Charles was dead. Murdered! ‘By whom? Carlos? Frank? Who? Am I in danger too?’ Brenda bolted upright. She remembered something Frank had said yesterday.

‘Who was he trying to protect me from?’ She said this aloud as Hoxley stepped back into the office. She glanced at him and repeated her question.

‘We don’t know. If we knew that we might start getting to the bottom of this.’ He wrapped a burns bandage loosely around her hand then retrieved a pillow from a locker beside the window. ‘Now, please. Try and rest.’

She smiled. ‘Is that an order, Constable Hoxley?’

‘A direct order.’ He grinned and left the room.

Finally, Brenda allowed herself to close her eyes.

© Chrissy Siggee

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Archived in: Christian Reads